Name
by jesusofsuburbia2o2o
Summary: Songfic to Goo Goo Doll's Name. Light remembers his Lawliet, the man behind the computer screen of L. The man he loved. LxLight.


**Author's Note: I spazzed out once I found this perfect LxLight song. I think it's perfect, anyway. Tell me what you think!! _(REVIEW!)_ Song is called Name by the Goo Goo Dolls.**

Light plays guitar, singing this song and recalling memories as he thinks of his Lawliet, the name only he knows and cannot reveal to anybody. Light and L had both grown up in Wammy's House and became best friends...but Watari had taken L away to become a somebody. LxLight AU. Song credit goes to the Goo Goo Dolls.

_It was that time of day again._ Light Yagami, known to his peers at Wammy's House as Jason, said.

He had long left Wammy's House, though. After..._he_...had left his room one day, when he was seventeen. Light had been ten.

Every day it was the same, making a living playing guitar on the street. He would every day think of his Lawliet, the man who's name only he himself knew.

Light walked from his alleyway, where he slept every night, to his place where he would play, a streetlight. He picked up his Gibson Les Paul (that Roger from Wammy's House had given him), and began to play the song he wrote about his Lawliet.

_And even though the moment passed me by,_

_I still can't turn away,_

_Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose,_

_Got tossed along the way_

_And letters that you never meant to send_

_Get lost or thrown away..._

He remembered his time with Lawliet, and how their time as friends was over. He distinctly remembered Lawliet telling him that he didn't want to be who he was there to be.

"_Jason-kun?" fifteen -year-old Lawliet had said uncertainly, looking at the sleeping eight year old, who stirred at his name._

_  
"I told you Lawliet, call me Light."_

"_Light-kun, I really don't want to be L."_

_Young Light had raised an eyebrow, sitting up straight in bed. "Lawliet, how come? Your IQ can top anyone on this planet. You'd be able to do it...but why do you not want to?"_

_Lawliet smiled. "I always wanted to be a brilliant musician. Play that guitar well, Light-kun, and it will get you far."_

_Light beamed at his guitar. "Thank you."_

Well, he was L now. He wasn't his Lawliet anymore, his dreams of being a musician were crushed by the weight of being L. And he probably didn't care. Lawliet probably wanted it that way.

_And now we're grown up orphans_

_Who never knew their names,_

_We don't belong to no one_

_That's a shame_

He remembered not knowing his real name until Lawliet had told him, for they keep the true names of the students at Wammy's a secret.

"_So...my name isn't Jason, Ryuzaki?" six-year-old Light said uncertainly to thirteen-year-old Lawliet._

"_No. You are Light Yagami."_

_Light beamed. "I like that better." but his nose crinkled in confusion. "But Ryuzaki, what's _your _real name?"_

"_My name, Light-kun...is Lawliet."_

"_Lawliet..." little Light said, a beam secured on his baby face as he embraced the teen._

Now Light had no one. He was living on the streets, a guitarist with a very high IQ. It was true, he really didn't belong to anybody. He thought he belonged Lawliet, and that Lawliet had belonged to him, but that was long ago. Light's heart ached every time he remembered all the aspects of Lawliet, from his unruly black hair to his panda-like eyes. The lone person he loved.

_But if you could hide beside me,_

_Maybe for a while_

_and I won't tell no one your name,_

_and I won't tell 'em your name._

Every night he dreamed of Lawliet coming back to him. Just to hold him, for any amount of time. It would do. Light would be happy, an embrace from the man he loved who left his without a goodbye. He was the only person, obviously apart from Roger and Quillish, who knew _Ryuzaki's _true name.

_Scars are souvenirs you never lose,_

_The past is never far_

_Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?_

_Did you get to be a star?_

Light remembered the closest thing to a farewell he had gotten from Lawliet.

"_Light-kun?" seventeen-year-old Ryuzaki asked Light as they played guitar together the evening before Lawliet unceremoniously left Light to become who he was supposed to be._

"_Yes, Lawli-chan?" Light joked, knowing Lawliet's hatred of the nickname._

_Lawliet smirked. "I decided I'm going to be L."_

_At this statement, and the look on Lawliet's face, one of pride, one of willingness toward what Light thought he hated, Light burst into angry tears, and started beating every part of the older man he could reach._

"_H-how COULD you?" Light screamed, his fist repeatedly coming down on Lawliet's arm, leaving what would turn to bruises._

_Lawliet only laughed. "It's my duty."_

In Light's darkest hours, he remembered that voice as it said those last three words. Light began tearing up as he continued to sing, tips being thrown into his open guitar case.

_And don't it make you sad to know that life_

_Is more than who we are?_

_You grew up way too fast_

_And now there's nothing to believe_

_And reruns all become our history_

_A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio_

Light sang these words, reflecting on his best friend, or what he considered to be more. He remembered how Lawliet had grown up fast, it seemed that one day, they were friends, screwing around and laughing together, and then Lawliet suddenly remembered his 'duty'.

_And I won't tell no one your name_

_And I won't tell 'em your name._

_I think about you all the time_

_But I don't need the same_

_It's lonely where you are, come back down_

_And I won't tell 'em you name._

His song finished as he finally begged his Lawliet to come back, the tears dripping down his face as he totally ignored the cheers of his gathered crowd. It meant next to nothing to him.

All of it was true, he did think of Lawliet, the one person he actually spoke to willingly in his life, every second of his existence, willing him to quit his job and come back to him. To be his Lawliet, and not the world's L. He didn't care so much if the detective never thought of him ever again, so long as he was somewhat happy with the path he had chosen.

As the people had put the money in his case, he quickly thanked them, packed it up, and started running. Running to nowhere specifically. He just needed to get away from the thoughts he had resurrected. That is until...

"Ow." He had run smack-dab into a tall, skinny man, who let out a noise of pain.

"I-I'm so sorry..." Light muttered, looking up at the stranger.

The familiar stranger blinked down at the seventeen-year-old runaway.

"L-light-kun?" the person asked, the unkempt black hair covering obsidian eyes with dark circles. Light gasped at the familiarity, and that the person knew his name.

"_Lawliet?!_"


End file.
